Yeah. So, um, "snow." Or maybe not! It's like we've been teased so many times with tales of sn-woe that once we actually got a little bit, agencies like Portland Public Schools and TriMet couldn't keep from wetting themselves.

Left to import ringers from other countries to kill his people, Muammar Qaddafi assigns some credit for the revolutions that have pulled much of Libya from his grasp: Osama bin Laden. Oh! And "hallucinogenic drugs."

This one's for the wonks. Recent unrest in the Arab world has been a boon for Iran and its club of bad boys (Syria and Lebanon), so say the experts, mostly by weakening traditional rivals like Saudi Arabia and Jordan.

TYRANT's HOUSE! A college student in Texas, first reported by a chemical company, was arrested on suspicion of plotting to detonate a bomb at the home of former President George W. Bush. News reports mostly read like the Justice Department's own account of the arrest. Although it doesn't look like, this time, the FBI actually helped the plot along.

More goodies from the Sarah Palin tell-all that no one would publish! The ex-governor and her first dude share a toxic love; she sent newspapers glowing letters about herself, but under phony names; the first dude was into a Photoshopped nude of his wife; and—surprise, surprise—Palin's presence in politics amounts to the will of god.

Toyota has inched closer to recalling every last one of its death-trap cars. An additional 2.17 million vehicles have floor mats that might prop up their gas pedals and, you know, kill you.

How would y'all learn a Down syndrome boy "afraid of plants" to start behavin' right? Lock his little ass in an elementary school closet for a spell. And put a plant next to him! P'tew.

It started with some bitching about a roommate having eaten all the thin mints. Then? Faces were punched. Scissors and a plank of wood were picked up and waved around. A breast was bitten. And, finally, a street sign was bashed repeatedly into a skull. What kind of Girl Scout cookie would you attempt murder for?