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Another week, another Mercury music section to read while you stomp on your John Boehner wah-wah pedal. The only thing worse than Boehner is a band that still uses a wah-wah pedal.

Speaking of the wah-wah, Eric Fucking Clapton. Even as an atheist, I'm offended when people call him a guitar God. Quick, play another shitty solo, dad.
WATCH:
Eric Clapton's Awesome Michelob Commercial

The chamber-popsters of Loch Lomond weather the storm with their much-delayed LP Little Me Will Start A Storm.
LISTEN:

Loch Lomond - "Water in Astoria"

Let's change the dialogue when we talk about jazz wunderkind Esperanza Spalding. There's more to Spalding than the night she made all the Bieber fans cry. The former Portlander makes her glorious return to town this week for the PDX Jazz Fest.
LISTEN:

Esperanza Spalding - "Apple Blossom"

Not many people can get away with writing a conceptual record about boning entitled XXX. Prince and maybe Jimmy Edgar, but that's it.
LISTEN:

Jimmy Edgar - "Hot Raw Sex"

End Hits: Hot Raw Sax.