ATTN: Two and a Half Men fans! BIG NEWS! The rampaging, coked-up id known professionally as Charlie Sheen has finally accomplished the unthinkable: become a train wreck so messy he has caused CBS to stop production on its biggest sitcom for the rest of the season. That means four whole episodes of Two and a Half Men will never see the light of day.
This is shocking first of all because up to this point T&HM has been so devoid of taste and thought that Sheen's hooker-bangin', hoover-nosed off-screen life has had no impact on its success. In fact, it seems to have brought a rubbernecking fascination to watching Sheen play a lazy caricature of himself week after week. I mean, CBS pays the dude nearly $2,000,000 per episode to basically just show up and deadpan off a teleprompter (for the record, that's one million dollars less than Snooki of Jersey Shore makes per episode, but let's focus on one national disgrace at a time).
Annnnyways, in case you missed it, the line Sheen has crossed was by appearing on Alex Jones' radio show yesterday and saying some cuh-razy shit (and later saying more shit when TMZ called him for a statement). Is it worth listening to? Um, peep this excerpt courtesy of Entertainment Weekly and then you tell me:
“I’m so tired of pretending like my life isn’t perfect and bitchin’ and just winning every second,” he continued. “I’m not perfect, and bitching and just delivering the goods at every fucking turn. Because look what I’m dealing with, man — I’m dealing with fools and trolls. I’m dealing with soft targets.”
At one point he also refers to himself and the interviewer as “Vatican assassin warlocks.” At another point, Sheen seems to make a threat against unspecified attackers: “I’m done. It’s on. Bring it. As I say. I ain’t hiding. You know? And if you’re part of my family, I will love you violently. If you infiltrate and try to hurt my family, I will murder you violently.”
Yeah, it's worth listening to. Full interview available here.