According to the entertainment biz barkers at Variety, Capcom's Devil May Cry is getting the feature film treatment courtesy Screen Gems.

You may recall Screen Gems as the Sony Pictures subsidiary behind such masterworks as Resident Evil, Ultraviolet and the recent Gwyneth-Paltrow-As-Jeff-Daniels-As-Britney-Spears flick Country Strong. Screen Gems also released Snatch, but that one's a bit harder to laugh at.

Aside from Variety's revelation that "Kyle Ward has been hired to pen the script, which revolves around the character of Dante, who avenges his mother's murder by killing off demons," little is known of the firm's plans for Capcom's stylish, hyperkinetic ballet of bullets and flying exclamatories.

Pitt? Brando? Wayans? WHO?!
  • Capcom
  • Pitt? Brando? Wayans? WHO?!

Of course, in a film like this, that sort of information isn't all that important. Hell, for that matter neither are niggling details like who they get to direct (please please PLEASE don't be Paul W.S. Anderson). The only truly important detail here is who they get to play Dante.

I have no doubt that this film is going to physically hurt me with its swirling black hole of suck, but if they can find an actor to convincingly portray the incredibly rad, smartass son of a demon, who can also rock the red leather trenchcoat and foppish white hair look, Screen Gems might still win some points from me.

Now would be the time to offer suggestions in the comments below. Who would make a convincing Dante?