The internets are all excited about a new study that defines four types of sneezers.

The research is by a woman who identifies herself as a spokesperson for Benedryl so... uh... it seems completely made up. Also, her final report has some glaring punctuation errors and includes advice like what atheists are supposed to say if someone sneezes ("May humanity bring benefits to you”). But anyway, here's what Benedryl says about your sneezing personality, based on a survey of 547 people. They're kind of like horoscopes based on bodily functions:

The NICE sneezer — You tend to have a single achoo, and you are more likely to turn away when you sneeze than other types. You are warm and friendly and like a relaxed pace. The most important thing in your life is your relationships with others.

The BE RIGHT Sneezer—You are careful, and accurate. A deep thinker you always consider things before you speak. You take your time, play by the rules and wish others would do the same. You are more likely to cover your mouth when you sneeze than other types.

The GET IT DONE Sneezer —You are fast, decisive and to the point. You wish others could be the same. You will hold in your sneeze if you can and are more likely to have a big loud sneeze than other types.

The ENTHUSIASTIC Sneezer—You are a charismatic leader and influencer. You are articulate and enjoy a good conversation whether it is on the phone, over dinner or out socializing. You are more likely to have sneezes that people notice - big or multiple.