One of our most popular features of the year is on the streets right now… the annual Mercury Sex Survey Results issue! For ten looooong years we've nosily polled Portlanders to find out what they sex, how they sex, and who they're sexin' it to! And trust me, there are tons of hilarious, illuminating, and horny facts in this year's survey which you can read right here! For example: Are you getting as many blowjobs as your neighbor? NOW YOU CAN FIND OUT!! Who gets more muff-dives: single ladies or married ladies? NOW YOU CAN FIND OUT!! Who tends to lie more when filling out sex surveys: singles or couples? NOW YOU CAN... oh, I'll just tell you: it's couples by a long shot. In fact, I wrote an entire section where I bust these lying liars for lying on our survey, and as a result, fuck "science" up. You should read that part, too. It's amazing.
HOWEVER!!! It should be noted that there is a LOT MORE information that you'll read in our online version of the survey, that you won't find in the paper, simply because there wasn't enough space. For example: When we asked you to name "a sexual act that you participate in, but are ashamed of" one of you said, "elephant trunking."
Also in the online version you'll discover Portlanders' fave spots to have public sex, the sexiest (read: filthiest) sexual act they've performed in the last ten years, and always a crowd favorite, PORTLAND'S TOP TEN SEXIEST STAFFS. Here are #6-10 according to your vote!
#6. Dutch Bros. Coffee, Fantasy (tie)
#7. Pine State Biscuits
#8. Mary's Club
#9. Bishops Barbershop
#10. CC Slaughters, Les Schwab, Ace Hotel (three-way tie... ooh, three-way)
Who won the top five spots? CHECK OUT THE 2011 SEX SURVEY FOR THE EROTIC RESULTS!!