Ladies and gentlemen, I HAVE FOUND YOUR WEEKEND JAM! (Or perhaps the absolute worst song you've ever heard in your life... not sure yet.) Please, please, please check out this "so terrible that it's fan-fucking-tastic" song from Rebecca Black entitled "Friday." You'll be suitably annoyed at the :10 second mark, asking yourself, "Wait... is this for real?" at the :25 second mark, ready to drive nails in your eyes by the :50 second mark, and by the time the chorus kicks in a 1:00? YOU WILL BE HOOKED AND UTTERLY SLACK JAWED, MY FRIEND. Forget Bieber—welcome to my nightmares, Rebecca Black!

"Partyin', partyin', YEAH! Partyin', partyin', YEAH! Fun, fun, fun, fun, lookin' forward to the we-ee-kend!"