Over at the always-delightful FilmDrunk, editor Oliver Noble has painstakingly assembled (eh? EH?) a nearly four-minute-long video that contains every bone that's ever been broken by Steven Seagal. In movies, I mean. I imagine if this video included all of Seagal's real-life bone-breakings, it would go on for like three hours.

All of its cracking, crunching, screaming, whimpering, and thick-tongued quipping aside, this video made me realize something: The fatter Steven Seagal gets, the more he seems to enjoy hurting people. I guess that makes sense, when you think about it.