Live from the Rose Garden as the Portland Trail Blazers host the San Antonio Spurs. Much as it was when these two teams last met, the Spurs are still the best team in basketball, sporting a healthy six game lead over their nearest Western Conference opponents, the Los Angeles Lakers.

With their big three playing inspired and healthy basketball...wait, did I say healthy? I take that back. They were relatively injury-free, but Tim Duncan recently sprained one of his robot ankles and will be out of action for roughly two weeks. I suspect that in his time off from basketball he'll be working on maintaining many of his 10,000 lady-friendships.

So the good news for Portland is that Tim Duncan will be out. The bad news? The Spurs are coming into tonight's game after dropping a hard fought battle against the Nuggets on Wednesday. On the year, the Spurs have only lost two games in a row once, and that was way back when the calendar first flipped over to twenty eleven.

That is due in small part to great coaching, but mostly just because if the Spurs lose two games in a row Gregg Popovich will cut a bitch.

PRE-GAME:
Of Portland's remaining eleven games, nine are against teams with records over .500. That includes the Spurs twice, the Thunder twice, the Mavericks, and the Lakers. With Houston and Phoenix vying for the last playoff spot in the Western Conference, the Blazers are going to have to win a handful of their upcoming contests to secure a spot in the post-season. Good thing they've reached the Chalupa plateau the last four home games—against the quick Spurs, scoring is going to be key.

For tonight's game, LaMarcus Aldridge has promised to donate $1,000 per point to relief efforts in Japan. In February when these two teams last met Aldridge beasted his way towards forty points, and that was against Robot Duncan's staunch defense. By my totally scientific calculations—I have a science degree from Dr. Magorium's Science Emporium—Aldridge will go off for sixty tonight. Hear that, Vegas? Book it.

Oh, hey, it's Matt Bonner! The last time I saw my favorite ginger—sorry, Dad, but you gotta work on your three-point range—he was at an Okkervil River show at SXSW. Between that and his love of Arcade Fire, "Coach B" would fit in real well in Portland.

For some positive news regarding a Blazers center (wait, that's a thing?!), Marcus Camby will be returning to the court tonight! That makes the tally marks for "Blazers Centers Getting Hurt" versus "Blazers Centers Getting Hurt And Then Getting Better" about 5,460 to 2. I also got my math degree from the Science Emporium.

FIRST QUARTER:
11:53 - Well, that's a way to start a game. After Tiago Splitter won the tipoff for the Spurs, Wesley Matthews hustled to get the ball before Tony Parker could. He immediately drove on Tony Parker and scored easily. Seven seconds or less, indeed. 2-0 Blazers.

8:54 - Despite turning the ball over on three of their first four possessions, the Spurs are only down two. How is that even possible? 6-4 Blazers.

6:48 - Two failed alley-oops and a three by Richard Jefferson later, and the Blazers are looking at the wrong side of the score. Yet it is Gregg Popovich, he the coach of the team with the lead, calling the timeout. Pop does not mess around when he sees his team doing something he doesn't like. 13-10 Spurs.

5:45 - And right out of the timeout, Tony Parker drains a three. 16-12 Spurs.

4:44 - Nicolas Batum for a herky-jerky three! He passed on the wide open three, waiting for his defender to close. After a hand was in his face, he set his feet again and drained the contested jumper. Passing up an easier shot for a harder one? Seems like a great strategy. 16-15 Spurs.

4:19 - I don't know who got the bigger cheer when entering the game: Marcus Camby or Matt Bonner. I'm gonna go with the guy who didn't pick up a foul in less than ten seconds, so Camby wins! 20-17 Spurs.

2:29 - Missed alley-oop number three, and this time it was because Aldridge couldn't jump over Matt Bonner. A white guy. With red hair. The Spurs capitalize on the other end, and things are starting to get a little out of hand. 26-17 Spurs.

1:00 - Rudy with an incredibly hustle play. After a Roy miss, the rebound eventually landed in George Hill's hands. Rudy stole it as Hill was headed the other way, and as the ball was careening out of bounds, Rudy knocked it off of Bonner. Blazer ball. That could prove to be a turning point. 28-19 Spurs.

0:00 - Gerald Wallace agreed with me about Rudy's hustle play and calmly knocked down a corner three. On the other end, Camby made his presence felt by destroying a layup right out of bounds as the clock had all but expired. Portland ends the quarter on a mini-run, but more importantly gain a bit of momentum and get the crowd excited. 28-24 Spurs.

SECOND QUARTER:
11:11 - Gerald Wallace with a three in the same exact spot. Stay right there, Wallace. 28-27 Spurs.

9:36 - Tie game! Wallace is making his presence felt on the defensive end as well, getting a block and a steal on DeJuan Blair in the same possession. He is slowly taking over this game. 31-31 Tie.

7:54 - Wallace had a wide open dunk and completely whiffed it before he even left his feet, knocking the ball off the post under the hoop. That was...unfortunate. With back to back euro layups—like normal layups, just more sexy—from Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili and now it's Nate McMillian who needs time. 40-36 Spurs.

4:28 - Andre Miller just played a great bit of phantom defense on Richard Jefferson, contesting his breakaway layup by running by him with his arms in the air. No contact, no nothing, and Jefferson missed. If only it were always that easy, the Spurs wouldn't have the lead right now. 43-38 Spurs.

2:29 - Tie game again! Spurs lead again! Oh wait, take away that last exclamation point. The Blazers just can't quite seem to get over the leading the game hump. 46-43 Spurs.

0:30 - Blazers lead!! After a botched fast break by the Spurs, the Blazers raced back to their own three on one and Andre Miller layed it in for the first Portland lead since early in the first! 47-46 Blazers.

0:02 - And then Matt Bonner decided to change that. The lovable ginger calmly knocked down a wide open three to all but end the half. Hey, Portland, that guy is pretty good at those. You may want to get a hand up when he shoots. Or, you know, make him cry by singing the lyrics to "A Stone." 49-47 Spurs.

THIRD QUARTER:
10:28 - After the Spurs had scored the first four points of the quarter, Andre Miller finally put Portland on the board after digging out an offensive rebound and laying it in. Swag. 53-49 Spurs.

9:10 - Nicolas Batum just went all Scottie Pippen on an alley-oop, skying high for the baseline jam. Luckily one of those dunks finally went in after what seemed like three missed chippies. On the other end, Tony Parker got embarrassed by both having his shot demolished by Gerald Wallace and picking up an offensive foul in the process. And, just like that, Blazers lead! 55-53 Blazers.

6:21 - Batum for three! The frenchman is doing everything he can to show up Tony Parker, and Portland suddenly has their largest lead of the night. 62-56 Blazers.

4:35 - Well, so much for that lead. Seven straight points for San Antonio and they have reclaimed the lead. 63-62 Spurs.

2;50 - Game of sevens! Portland mounted their own seven point run, bolstered by a Wesley Matthews three, and just like that the lead is back up to six. Don't look now but we have a game on our hands! Too bad Ezra is too blasted off of Blast to be here. 69-63 Blazers.

1:04 - Another made alley-oop, this of the Camby to Aldridge variety. Too bad the next possession saw Matt Bonner completely pick Aldridge's pocket. Bonner! 73-66 Blazers.

0:00 - Okay, Ginobili just had an insane behind the back pass to DeJuan Blair. It was so good, more than one Portland player ended up on their ass. It was ridiculous. Expect to see that on Sportscenter tonight. 73-70 Blazers.

FOURTH QUARTER:
10:52 - So. Many. Threes. And yet none of them are going in for the Blazers. But for the Spurs? After Ginobili sneaked behind Camby's back and ripped the ball out of his hands—the crowd is going nuts that there wasn't a foul called—Manu calmly stepped back behind the line and drained the open triple. 75-75 Tie.

9:17 - Portland looks rattled, and it's all Ginobili's fault. He's absolutely exposing their defense, driving at will and getting easy buckets for the Spurs. Unfortunately for him, I can see his bald spot from way the hell up here on press row. 81-75 Spurs.

7:15 - After a couple of iffy no calls, Tony Parker finally picked up a loose ball foul. The crowd erupted. About as much as they did when Roy picked up an offensive foul on the ensuing play. 81-77 Spurs.

6:33 - George Hill three. Matthews missed three. The Spurs are currently 9-19 from distance, while the Blazers are a paltry 7-24. The Spurs are starting to completely dominate this one, turning on the gas when they needed it. I hate to say, but against a veteran team like the Spurs, I doubt the Blazers can pull this one out. 86-77 Spurs.

5:20 - The Blazers are getting outscored 16-6 so far in the fourth quarter. They need to start playing some defense, and quit shooting threes. With that sound of a strategy, I should be a coach. All my schemes would just be "do better." 88-80 Spurs.

4:27 - It's only a six point game. That's better than it being a ten point game, which it was all but a few minutes ago. A couple defensive stops and there could be some life left yet in Portland. 88-82 Spurs.

3:30 - Fumbled pass by Blair, made basket by Wallace. Steal by Andre, basket by Batum. This is a game! I am eating my words. 88-86 Spurs.

2:14 - They refs are definitely letting these two teams play. Fouls a plenty, and yet the whistles are all but non-existent. After Ginobili finally got called for a foul—he had committed two and a half on the same play—Batum got to the line and sank both free throws. 91-90 Spurs.

1:40 - Another chance to tighten the game with two free throws, and LaMarcus Aldridge whiffed them both. Ginobili did his thing on the other end, knocking down another three pointer like it ain't no thang. That was a huge five point switch. 96-90 Spurs.

0:30 - Four straight points for Andre Miller! The last two came off an open court steal on Tony Parker after Nicolas Batum had missed what would have been a huge three. Miller picked Parker's pocket, raced down court and layed it in. Down two, with thirty seconds left. To foul or not to foul. 96-94 Spurs.

0:01 - HOLY SHIT! Matthews picked Ginobili's pocket on San Antonio's final possession after Manu started his move with roughly ten seconds left. Wesley raced down court, passed to Miller on the break, but Miller missed the layup. Batum somehow got the offensive rebound and was fouled with 0.9 seconds left on the failed put-back. Batum drained both free throws!! TIE GAME. 96-96 Tie.

0:01 - On San Antonio's chance with 0.9 seconds left, the inbounds pass went direct out of bounds without being touched. Portland ball, at mid-court, with 0.9 seconds left. 96-96 Tie.

0:00 - HOLY SHIT!!!!!! With 0.9 seconds left, the Blazers ran an out of bounds play for Batum. He cut back door, caught the lob pass, and layed it in!!! BLAZERS WIN! That was an incredible finish. The crowd is all standing, kind of shell-shocked, and nobody has even started heading for the exits yet. I have no idea how Portland pulled that one out, but that was amazing. Unreal.

FINAL SCORE: 98-96 Blazers.