To the Jersey Shore wannabes at Devils Point,

Just because you’re “having a birthday party” does not mean you can all stand in a group and block the stage. I am a regular costumer who tips even if I have to sit way at the back because the place is packed. No, I do not have “my panties in a bunch”—all I expect is a little common decency, think about the others around you and don’t plant your fat ass right in front of the stage. The next big mistake you made was trying to grab me when all I was asking was for you to move three feet to the side so everyone could see, and I want to thank the bouncer for promptly kicking your asses out of the place. Now you can get in your stretch hummer and go back to whatever dark bridge you crawled out from under you trolls.—Anonymous