Dear Family in White SUV outside my house,
Yes, we see you've pulled over, oh, and we feel sorry that one of your 2.5 children is a little car sick.Yet I wonder, will you leave that puke in front of my house? As I wonder if I should open the door to that young boy's embarrassment and his family's shame to yell, "Get off my lawn!" I go get a beer. And yes, when I come back there is no white SUV, only a small bag of puke. I wonder if that small bag of puke that I will have to put in the garbage, water-logged, is worth saving that young boy from embarrassment. Yes I think but not his parents, so fuck you for not walking the 5 feet to my trash can or taking your family puke with you!—Anonymous

[Actually, this also happened to me the other day, when a very similar vehicle pulled up in front of my office window, and a little kid leaned out the window, and puked before the car drove off. Same assailants? Anyway...]