Salon asked a bunch of writers for their reaction to the upcoming wedding of Kate somebody and Prince William. I relate to this piece because I don't care either. (Apparently my need for validation extends even to things I'm indifferent toward.)

Stephen Elliott, author of "The Adderall Diaries"

I've been racking my brain about the royal wedding, trying to find the answer to the question "how do I feel?" I've explored my entire subconscious and for the life of me I can't find a thing.

Sloane Crosley, author of "I Was Told There'd Be Cake"

My friend is getting married in Minneapolis this weekend and so that's the wedding I will be attending. Not because she is my friend but because I was invited to that one. I go where I'm wanted.

and my favorite:

Beth Lisick, author of "Helping Me Help Myself"

Besides this bear couple that I met at a party the other night, not a single person I know has even mentioned it. Don't take this the wrong way, like when people brag about not having a TV, but I really don't give a shit about any of it.

(The reliably hilarious Lisick, coincidentally, will be hosting the local funnytime variety show Entertainment for People tomorrow night at the Woods.)