The humble man he is, our own news editor Denis Theriault only made passing mention this morning of what will surely go down as one of the greatest moments in Mercury history: DENIS APPEARED ON, AND WON LAST NIGHT'S EPISODE OF JEOPARDY!

You can read all about his backstage (and verrrrry sexy) adventures with Alex Trebek in this week's feature—but for those of you who aren't so impressed by his stunning come from behind victory, here is a very truncated list of mentally impressive people who have NEVER won on Jeopardy!

Jonas Salk!
Stephen Hawking!
Marilyn Vos Savant!
René Descartes!
Dr. Levi Spear Parmly! (The inventor of dental floss.)
Wm. Steven Humphrey (Inventor of "Home of the Whopper" underpants.)
And Benjamin Fucking Franklin!

So put that in your pipe and smoke it, haters. That being said, while sitting on my ass at home, I swept the "Missing Lyrics" and "Famous Last Words" categories—which Denis barely touched. So don't get uppity with me, smarty pants! (BTW, if you're so smart, then why am I your boss? DON'T ANYBODY ANSWER THAT!!)

Want to see ALL the questions Denis had to answer? Check out both Jeopardy! boards (as well as the Final Jeopardy! question) HERE! (Thanks to Blogtown consulting detective Graham for digging that up.) We'll also try to post some clips of Denis in action later.

UNTIL THEN! Remember that Denis will also be on Jeopardy! again TONIGHT on KATU (Channel 2) at 7 pm! Will he continue his winning streak? Or will he eventually fail like that stupid ugly loser Ken Jennings? WATCH TONIGHT AND SEE!! Congrats again, Denis! SWOON!!