It's no secret that Portland takes its frustrations out by picking on Vancouver and the 'burbs, and the weekly flood of bridge 'n' tunnelers (we have more than enough relevant bridges and tunnels to apply the term) is the oft-complained about (albeit lucrative) bane of many a downtown bartender and server's existence. In general Portland treats this milieu as parasites, little more than the butt of derision. I'm willing to bet that there are residents of such places who do not deserve this attitude, who are polite, tip well, and appreciate their relative proximity to Portland's many establishments for all the right reasons. Those people should be thanked for supporting our local businesses and the city's economy. Those people should also find this guy Ken and silence him, because he is not very good at making their case or defying our rock bottom expectations. Or spelling. Or writing a letter to I, Anonymous (subject line: "Washington county strikes back!") and then signing his (full) name anyway, which I will not disclose because I am not that cruel.

Dear, Editor—Just read another story in the mecury and yet had another crappy downtown bar owner in Portland calling washington county residents beaverton to be exact doochbags. Really do we really need to start throwing stones?? Beaverton is known for being 1 of the safest citys. What is Portland known for hmmm Underage prostitution, a mayor who has relations with pre adult men then lies about it, Crack alley, pimps and rich yuppies stepping over homeless people to purchase there 1000 dollar purses while paying no fare on the streetcar, and lets not forget about the sex shops and stirp clubs. First to the bar owner who called us doochbags and commented on or woman not knowing how to walk in heels. Maybe your confusing or woman with your underaged prostitutes. 2nd your bar is located in a crappy area instead of worrying about beaverton residents and people driving maybe you should focus on the homeless people and crack heads that camp out in your doorways and on your sidewalks. That may cut down on some of the congestion. Hey don't hate on Washington County residents because we don't have to eat where we shit.

Nicely done, Ken. Incidentally, the article you're referring to was in WW.

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UPDATE! Beaverton responds! (Or at least some other guy from Beaverton responds.) Read it below the cut.

I read Ken's defense of our neck of the woods and cringed. I think there is a big irony that comes with the chiding we folks in Beaverton get from the good people of Portland and unfortunately Ken missed it entirely. We Beavertonians are considerably better educated than Portlanders, according to the US census we hold 10% more college degrees than you all, intelligence being the antithesis of douchebaggery. We're also more ethnically diverse and we make more money. I think we're a little bit friendlier (but there are no numbers to prove it), we educate our children better and we have a solid liberal government that provides for it's citizens while managing to function without financial crisis.

All this being true we still love PDX as much as any inner west side or east sider. I have lived in a number of larger US cities and have never seen such animosity come from people that live a few miles apart. If I remember correctly the "bridge and tunnel" jibe comes from Manhattanites when referring to folks from Jersey. I for one really see a dearth of Jersey types over in my Beaverton proper (this of course does not include some of the yahoos in Sherwood and Tualatin). Indeed I would say that with the painful whiteness and tight pantness of Portland your part of town would really be more like Williamsburg Brooklyn which itself belongs in the "bridge" portion of that bridge/tunnel equation. All things considered, the metro area is so fucking small that to even be considered a proper city you need us over here. Oh and East Portland is one big sprawling suburb no matter how much those yearning skinny jeans wearing emo douchebag in training "artists" try to will it not so. Regards, Jason

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