Okay, so maybe Osama bin Laden wasn't firing a gun at the frighteningly lethal Navy SEALs who came to get him. And maybe there wasn't even really a "firefight" throughout the whole operation. But White House officials, who are clamming up and AREN'T going to release photos of bin Laden's body, still say it was plenty dangerous and that he was "in reach" of a gun. Or maybe they figured he was wearing a suicide vest?

It's looking more and more like—surprise!—Pakistani officials were giving the terrorist messiah some help. Pakistan's government is a little sensitive, naturally. "We totally knew our airspace was invaded," they're saying, "right after the American choppers left." They're also encouraging some alternate, unflattering accounts of the raid.

Oh, and guess who else is reportedly pissed? Yep. No. 43.

ONWARD!

Moammar Gaddafi's $30 billion nest egg has been frozen. The United States and its allies want to dip into that cash—and hand it over to Libya's rebels and war-ravaged civilians.

For the first time since Japan's tsunami-quake, workers have gone inside a damaged reactor building at the radiation-spewing Fukushima nuclear plant. I'm sure their families will miss them.

France throws down a soft, white glove, after wiping the Freedom Fries grease off its face (GO AMERICA!): Either peace talks start between Israel and Palestinians this fall, or it will unilaterally recognize a Palestinian state.

The story of how Bradley Manning, a young Army private, found himself in the middle of the WikiLeaks shitstorm, and then in a military prison.

Savaging Medicare? Maybe that's not going to work out, senior congressional Republicans are admitting. So how about messing with farmers and doctors instead?

If the Oregon Legislature gets its way, it will be much harder to charm your way (It's for work, officer!) out of a ticket for driving whilst telephoning.

The house from Home Alone is on the market for $2.4 million. AAAAAAHHHHH!!

A couple of you will care that actor Jackie Cooper is dead.

A nurse who went into chat rooms looking to urge suicidal people to go through with it has been put in jail where, presumably, he'll do the same to his fellow inmates.

America's new parents are dumb assholes.

CREEPY! CREEPY! CREEPY!