GOOD MORNING, MR. AND MRS. BLOGTOWN! It's a new week, and we're gonna tear it a new b-hole! Let's go to press...

Blogtown regular Todd passed on this heartbreaking story about how NATO military units ignored dozens of African migrants who were left to perish in the ocean. Thanks, Todd?

As if we weren't already pissed at Pakistan, now they've gone and outed one of our CIA agents. And OH, now it's OUR fault that bin Laden was hiding out in Pakistan? DICKS.

The Syrian military cracks down on protesters, going from house to house to arrest hundreds.

An angry, overflowing Mississippi River threatens thousands, causing the Army Corp of Engineers to open a spillway north of New Orleans to protect the city.

A man with went bazonkers on an American Airlines flight yesterday, and began banging on the cockpit door. Surely he had mental issues. Yes, and stop calling him "Shirley."

Newt Gingrich is expected to launch his presidential campaign on Wednesday. (LET THE HUMILIATIONS BEGIN!!)

Marg Helgenberger of CSI calls Justin Bieber a brat, saying that during a recent appearance on the show, he locked a producer in a closet and punched a cake. Dude, that cake was totally asking for it.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Cloudy with sunbreaks and the occasional shower all week, with highs in the 60s. Tuesday's the day to live for!

And finally, did you treat your mom right on Mother's Day? YOU DIDN'T?!? Then here is your punishment: Mr. T singing a song about it while wearing camouflage shorty shorts. TREAT HER RIGHT, FOOL!