Just one more thing about Donald Trump, guys. I always thought it was a toupe! But today, he revealed his hair styling methods to the Telegraph. And even though I shouldn't have to, I'll go ahead and make a personal appeal to everyone reading this not to emulate this styling trick for anything other than nefarious purposes in which the target victim is Donald Trump. Besides, it's kind of hard to follow:

"OK, what I do is, wash it with Head and Shoulders [Cheapskate.—Ed.]. I don't dry it, though. I let it dry by itself. It takes about an hour. Then I read papers and things... OK, so I've done all that. I then comb my hair. Yes, I do use a comb." He pauses, frowning, casting his mind back to capture the details of the event. "Do I comb it forward? No, I don't comb it forward." He pushes the leading edge of the flying wing of his hair back, to show where the hairline is. "I actually don't have a bad hairline. When you think about it, it's not bad. I mean, I get a lot of credit for comb-overs. But it's not really a comb-over. It's sort of a little bit forward and back. I've combed it the same way for years. Same thing, every time."