A lesbian challenges the premise of my "Choicer Challenge":

I'm sure you know this, but for plenty of homos, queers, etc. there really is a choice to be made. Gay men tend to think that biology determined everything right from the very first cell division—before you were even a person—but that overlooks a lot of other people's experiences and furthermore, it overlooks how boys are socialized to follow their dicks/desires right from the beginning. You might have made a choice so long ago you think it's nature that did it for you. Or maybe there are some bio-homos out there. But as for me, I tried heterosexuality, but living in NYC in a time when "experimenting" was encouraged I realized I could choose something else. I recognized a future for myself in all the miserable magazine articles about women perpetually dissatisfied with their boyfriends, husbands, etc. and realized that I could pass on all that and still enjoy the lipstick and fashion (allegedly designed to help women attract men). I could have been another miserable straight women; instead I made the happy choice to be a lesbian. Not because I had to, but because I liked it. I highly recommend it, Mrs. Palin.

Perhaps boys are socialized to follow their dicks/desires from the beginning while women are socialized to defer to dicks and men's desires from the beginning. And if that's the case gay men may have an easier time realizing they're gay, accepting it, and making the choice to come than gay women. But is that really the case? I recognize the unique—and destructive—ways that girls are socialized, but boys are under intense pressure to conform too. It's not like girls are told they MUST be straight while boys are allowed to make a free choice between gay or straight.