Here are eight things I learned from the new Rise of the Planet of the Apes trailer.

1) James Franco sounds dumb and stoned even when he's supposed to be smart and not stoned.
2) CG monkeys "aren't quite there yet."
3) Pretty ethnic girls are the go-to moral compass of any film.
4) "That chimp is company property!" I say this at least twice a day.
5) "Chimps are not people, you know." Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.
6) If you're dealing with intelligent chimps, you might want to lock up the fridge.
7) Ape rampages are kind of scary, guys. Let's avoid them if we can!
8) Ape's are pretty good at throwing axes. Let's avoid that scenario, too.