It's effing nice outside, and maybe some of you will be tempted to enjoy the day too much. So pay attention: Unless you're 16 and wearing lots of eyeliner and hate your parents, be careful if you decide to have sex in a graveyard.

In real news, the addition of helicopters (helicopters? yes, helicopters!) to an air war in Libya that's already had fighter planes for months marks an apparently notable escalation by NATO forces. The humanitarian crisis exploding alongside the war, meanwhile, has continued. Two-hundred refugees fleeing the conflict perished at sea when their boat capsized.

Crap yourselves in panic! The E. Coli bug sickening hundreds in Germany has spread to a dozen other countries, including the United States, and it's reportedly affecting people who hadn't even been eating tainted sauerkraut, etc.

Yemen's president, injured in an attack
on his compound as the country's uprising flares into civil war, has his minions denying reports the wounds were bad enough he had to be sent to see doctors in Saudi Arabia.

The Pakistani Al-Qaida commander behind the 2008 Mumbai hotel attacks (and also the owner of amazing sunglasses) has apparently been killed in an American drone attack. He's had a long run as a jihadist.

Proof he's a secret liberal: Mitt Romney might be too chicken to claim ownership for passing universal health care, but he will admit, at least, that global warming is real.

The debate continues: Is Sarah Palin a liar or just haplessly mistaken every time she opens her mouth and issues a statement of purported fact?

In the land of sequels, the U.S. Corps of Engineers has flooded another town with its ineptitude. Still doesn't compare to the original, though.

WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange, unbowed, has promised more leaked documents and he's also accusing the FBI of trying to bribe his associates in the case against him.

The very scary-sounding Lulz Security hacking outfit
makes everyone who's given their personal information to Sony feel stupid. Again.

Birth control pills. For men.

Of course, this kind of behavior will work just as well for most fellows who aren't ready to spawn.