I'm a 23-year-old 'mo living in the Midwest, and I seem to have a serial monogamy issue.
About two years ago, I broke up with a guy I had been seeing for five months. Since I can't go long without sex, less than two weeks later I found a guy online, and we met up. As a matter of principle, I only hook up with people I sort of like. In fact, I liked this guy so much that we ended up dating for over a year and a half. I loved him, but he was not mature or self-sufficient enough, so I ended the relationship about six weeks ago. And surprise! Now I have a new friend with benefits. He's open, straightforward, easygoing, mature, funny, good in bed and fine as hell—everything I could ask for in a FWB. We've hung out four times, and each time we've had a blast both in and out of bed. I really like him, and I can tell he feels the same. I've made it clear to him that I'd rather keep things casual right now, and he's fine with that.
However, I feel weird about this for two reasons. For one, I feel callous for so quickly forgetting about a guy I really loved (and still love, though I'm not "in love" with him). I can also see this turning into another relationship, so I'm beginning to worry that deep down, I just like the idea of having a boyfriend. This doesn't change the fact that my new friend is truly awesome (friends who have met him agree), and whatever this can or will be, I don't want to screw it up. But do I need to take a step back and evaluate things? Is this a problem at all? Am I a cock-crazed maneater? Please advise!
Fucks Always Gettin' Serious
My response after the jump...
Only in Fagland would someone come to view his ability to form attachements—to say nothing of his preference for sex with people he knows enough about to actually like and his desire to have an actual boyfriend—as a character flaw.
You're not doing anything wrong, FAGS. Fagland would be happier, healthier place if more gay men were like you, e.g. able to spot the good guys, open to relationships, and reluctant to decouple sex and affection.
And that you've moved from from Mr. Five Months to Mr. Eighteen Months to Mr. Sometime Within The Last Six Weeks isn't by itself evidence that you're a cock-crazed maneater or that you're going to spend the rest of your life moving from medium-term relationship to medium-term relationship. A romantic history like yours, at age 23, can only be interpreted as evidence that you're young and still figuring out what and who you want. And the only firm conclusion we can draw from your romantic history, FAGS, is that Mr. Five Months and Mr. Eighteen Months weren't right for you. Only time will tell if Mr. Sometime Within The Last Six Weeks is.
But if it does turn out that you can't be with the same guy for more than a year or two—if serial monogamy is what you want and what makes you happy—that isn't necessarily a problem either. Don't mislead guys, don't let guys move in with you, and don't make any promises about the future that you know you probably can't keep.