Wow, Saturday’s Rose City Rollers home team scrambles (mmm... scrambles) were a battle royale. But before all the hip checks broke out, the High Rollers’ Elvis-y mascot, The King, sang the National Anthem. And speaking of hip checks… he woulda done the Colonel proud. The festivities opened with a special exhibition scramble by the queer derby gals in the Vagine Regime. It was a fun no-stakes bout, with gals from all four Rose City Rollers home teams split up into orange and gray teams. Illegally Blonde, playing for the orange, was really using the scrimmage to her best advantage to warm up, but it wasn’t enough to keep the gray team from winning with the saucily dressed Honey Hellfire jamming strong. (Gray 70, Orange, 58). Meanwhile the rest of us derby groupies were basking in the sun streaming in from the open hangar doors, sipping PBR like it was summer or something.

Vagine Regimes Gray vs. Orange Teams

Hit the jump for the deets on the other two bouts from Saturday.

The second game was the High Rollers vs. Gun N Rollers, with both teams smarting from their defeats on Friday night—High Rollers to the Heartless Heathers (Fri: Heathers 75, High Rollers 54), and GNR to the Break Neck Betties (Fri: Betties 75, GNR 27). Jammer Honey Hellfire shoulda been sporting hell red instead of kelly green, as she took over the first jam from GNR’s high-soaring Scald Eagle, rocketing the High Rollers into a high-scoring situation. Score 19-0 High Rollers. Illegally Blonde was next up for the High Rollers, jamming out another three points (plus style points for consistently calling off the jam with authority!). It should be noted that head ref Wench Warden was having a field day calling fouls on both teams, repeatedly sending players from both teams to the penalty boxes for engaging in pack splits. Once both teams smoothed out their foul play (ha?!), the game was a close one with GNR really solidifying their game. Nice showing from new butt-rocker SquidVicious, an awesome jammer and newbie to the GNR from Salem’s Cherry City Derby. At 14 minutes left in the bout, it was High Rollers 26, GNR 13, with the High Rollers getting increasing purchase over GNR in a very close game. With just 18 seconds left, GNR down by 9 points, it was once again Honey Hellfire vs. Scald Eagle on the jammer line, with Honey besting GNR to win it (High Rollers 49, GNR 34).

The Saucily Dressed Honey Hellfire

Saturday’s last bout saw two freshly victorious teams from Friday: Heartless Heathers vs. the Break Neck Betties. Frankly I was expecting the Betties to ride high on their season-long winning momentum, especially with Friday’s win over GNR tucked under their black-and-white checkered belts. But man oh man, the Heartless Heathers killed it all weekend long, defeating the #1-ranked High Rollers on Friday and bringing their best game against the Betties on Saturday. (Go Heathers!) It was a pretty evenly matched game, but the Heathers were derby machines on Saturday, and the Betties weren’t able to congeal their defense to stop the Heathers from plowing through the pack. With half the game to go, it was 26-6 Heathers. The Heathers racked up 20 more points before the endgame, while star Betties jammers D-Konstructor got battered about like a li’l bunny and SoulFearic Acid couldn’t get a break in the pack, meanwhile Heathers jammers TeqKillya and the Blast Unicorn added to the scoreboard. Final game: Heathers 65, Betties, 28. The Heathers really pulled their junk together!

I’m not sure who won the afterparty at Scandals, but it was probably the dance floor.

The heat is on for the Season 6 championships at the Expo Center in a double header on June 18. Guns N Rollers vs. Heartless Heathers in a race for third—because despite the Heathers weekend domination, it wasn’t enough to get them into a bout for first. Then watch the High Rollers take on the Break Neck Betties for first-place honors.