• Atari

Over the last half-decade that I've been lacing the Portland Mercury's game reviews with esoteric pop culture references and childish dick jokes, I've begun to worry that maybe I was being seen as too kind. There's nothing worse than a critic who doesn't actually critique, and almost every game review the Merc has published is intensely positive.

Of course, the real cause of all this uncharacteristic optimism is that I'm the one who decides what I want to cover. I simply don't bother with lame bullshit.

Still, I feel I should offer some evidence of my capacity, not for incredibly bitter cynicism — that's too easy and kinda childish — but of my ability to craft a 330-word analogue for "meh."

Support The Portland Mercury

Unfortunately this evidence comes at the expense of the Dungeons & Dragons: Daggerdale, a new downloadable action roleplaying title for the Xbox 360 and PC. If I'm murdered by Gygax cultists incensed that I might question the quality of any part of the D&D empire, know that I died as I lived; with a sleeping cat clawing my genitals.

Enjoy the apathy.

SLAY Film Fest
In person at the Clinton St. Theater 10/29 & 10/30