...Bourbon was invented. June 14, 1789, Elijah Craig first looked out on those vast fields of corn and thought, "You know what? I bet I could drunk off that." My fellow Americans, be proud.

We are a pious people but a proud one too, aware of a noble lineage and a great inheritance. Let us candidly admit that there are shameful blemishes on the American past, of which by far the worst is rum. Nevertheless we have improved man's lot and enriched his civilization with rye, bourbon, and the martini cocktail. In all history has any other nation done so much? Not by two-thirds. —Bernard Devoto, The Hour: A Cocktail Manifesto

(FULL DISCLOSURE: I helped reissue Devoto's book, and I actually kind of prefer Scotch)