GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! New Kids on the Block had a bunch of hits, Chinese food makes me sick, and I think it's fly when girls drop by for the summmer... for the summer. Let's go to press!
Pakistan fucks up again—this time arresting key CIA informants who helped us track down Osama bin Laden. Nice move, Ironside!
The ATF is in deep poop for their program that allows smuggling of illegal weapons across the Mexican border into the states. (They're also in trouble for having the WORST CODENAME EVER.)
House members sue President Obama over his military action in Libya. By the way, how's that "creating jobs" thingy going?
Gutless Democrats are still hoping dirty bird Rep. Anthony Weiner will step down. By the way, how's that "creating jobs" thingy going?
Pandora goes public, and the public snaps it up for $20 a share.
KISS bassist Gene Simmons encounters a wee bit of marital trouble on the Joy Behar show, when his long-time partner flips out and storms off the set. In related news: Gene Simmons is not dead, as I had assumed.
In probably the least surprising news of the day, when the 13-year-old love child of Arnold Schwarzenegger found out who his dad really was, he responded: "COOL!!"
Natalie Portman delivers her baby boy, Benjamin Millepied. NEWS FROM THE FUTURE: Natalie Portman's 13-year-old son is mercilessly teased at school; nicknamed "Centipede."
TODAY IN BRRRRRR: Two men have been arrested under suspicion to rob and murder singer Joss Stone, after being caught with "swords, rope, a body bag and plans of the soul singer's secluded house."
If you see more kids than usual loitering around town, smoking cigarettes, and listening to loud/crazy/horrible rap music, there's a reason for that: SCHOOL'S OUT FOR SUMMER!
Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Gradual clearing with some nice days ahead, heating back up to the mid-70s by Friday.
And finally, speaking of shiftless teenagers lounging around town begging for change so they can play videogames and be rude to their elders... LET'S TAKE A POLL!
