Sing it with me: "Black Betty bam-ba-lam! Woah! Black Betty bam-ba-lam! Woah!" The Rose City Rollers' season six champions-supreme are none other than the Break Neck Betties, beating the reigning champs the High Rollers in a bout that was so evenly matched in the first half it didn't look like it'd be settled without a knock-down brawl—'til that second half rolled around, that is, and the Betties took full advantage of the High Rollers' weakened ranks, as goodly chunks of their pack sat in the penalty box. But let's not get too far ahead, shall we?

Saturday kicked off with the loud-as-fuck war drums of the Last Regiment of Syncopated Drummers, who certainly got the crowd's blood thumping at the Expo Center. Other musical highlights: The ladies of Guns N Rollers rocked it with a little Journey ("Don't Stop Believing," natch) as their opener, while the Heartless Heathers steered a ferocious viking boat about, pillaging hearts and paddling cardboard oars, singing along to Lonely Island's "I'm on a Boat." All night, I'd say it was the most dancing-est I've ever seen roller derby. At one point during an extended timeout, GNR's Squid Vicious did a little dance then the splits while spinning around on her skates on the jammer line. It was wicked cool.

High Rollers Honey Hellfire tries to squeeze between Betties FranCheckya and Leet Speaking Missile.
  • Sharkey
  • High Rollers' Honey Hellfire tries to squeeze between Betties FranCheckya and Leet Speaking Missile.

Hit the jump for deets on the big championship victory and the battle for third with the Heartless Heathers vs. the Guns N Rollers. Plus plenty more pics from the action.

Heathers TeqKillya and Sol Train fend off GNRs Sugar & Vice
  • Sharkey
  • Heathers' TeqKillya and Sol Train fend off GNR's Sugar & Vice

For third place: The last-place Guns N Rollers taking on the invigorated Heartless Heathers. GNR was looking particularly good in the first half of the bout—Scald Eagle scored hard and fast in the early minutes, while Squid Vicious furthered the trend for GNR to bring the score 35 to 9 with 14 minutes left in the first half. Everyone seemed to be having trouble staying upright on their skates though—maybe the track was slippery from the move to the Expo Center... or maybe everyone had their eyes on the handsome and scantily clad Flash Bandit who was firing his T-shirt gun into the crowd? GNR was still in the lead with four minutes before halftime (38-36), when the Heathers' Teqkillya walloped the scoreboard with 14 points to bring the Heathers to the lead. *Cue halftime costume change, with noticeably more bikinis and tutus.* GNR came back from behind to tie it up 64-64, while GNR's fan section, The Jungle, went crazy. But, alas, that's close to where GNR's score would stay for the remainder of the game, while the Heathers racked up the points as HH's Effy Stone 'Em made an impressive showing with a 20-point jam (damn, girl). Final: Heartless Heathers 140, Guns N Rollers 72, with derby veterans Sol Train and Sugar & Vice playing their last game.

  • John Rudoff

The battle for first: Betties vs. High Rollers. The Betties came out with streamers flying, handing out accoutrements to their always well-appointed fans. While the High Rollers did a Vegas-fabulous opener complete with conga line. But it was all business afterward. The first jam set the stage with High Rollers jammer Honey Hellfire immediately scoring, then being sent to the penalty box leaving the door open for BNB's Soulfearic Acid. BNB 9, High Rollers 4. High Rollers jammer Napoleon Blownapart then took on D. Konstructor, scoring 15 points for her troubles, and further proving that both gals earned their MVP status at the end of the night.

MVPs: Betties D. Konstructor vs. High Rollers Napoleon Blownapart
  • Sharkey
  • MVPs: Betties' D. Konstructor vs. High Rollers' Napoleon Blownapart

What followed was a nail-biting lead change nearly every other jam with the High Rollers and the Betties hopping back and forth across the scoreboard and both teams defenses remaining strong,with incredible blocks and great defensive stoppage. Even-keeled Soulfearic Acid was even feeling the pinch of the tight game, getting an extra minute in the icebox for lipping off. HR's Wreck Deckard tipped the scales in their favor by halftime—she was on a mission, that girl (HR 63, BNB 57). The second half saw the Betties taking full advantage of the Rollers' penalties, with D. Konstructor scoring points left and right, pretty as can be. The High Rollers' enthusiastic Illegally Blonde made a great last-ditch effort, but with four minutes left the Betties were in the lead by 43 points. Final score: BNB 151, HR 106.

High Rollers Wreck Deckard trying to out-muscle the Betties Scrappy Go Lucky
  • Sharkey
  • High Rollers' Wreck Deckard trying to out-muscle the Betties' Scrappy Go Lucky

Nice one, Betties—this Golden Skate's for you!