Congratulations, news editor Denis Theriault (and by "congratulations," I mean "fuck you"), for being the first Mercury employee to make it into the New York Post—a personal dream of mine for years that has now been shattered. BUT HEY! It couldn't have happened to a nicer guy (and by "nicer," I mean "fuck you").

On the upside, the story isn't very interesting, as it's solely about how awkward Jeopardy can be when Alex Trebek is introducing the contestants. As we all know, Denis previously wrote about his success on Jeopardy, and therefore dealt with this awkwardness first hand. From the NYP:

Actually this isn't a quote from the article, because the story's way too boring, and I'm way too mad. Denis is, of course, as CHARMING as usual, so read it for yourself here. And by "it" I mean "fuck you, Denis and New York Post."