So I spent the Fourth of July weekend in beautiful Molalla, Oregon—don't ask... I'm confused about how I wind up here every day—and on my way back to Portland yesterday took a brief stop at the Molalla Buckeroo rodeo. And while I was too early for any adult bucking, I did get to catch the most interesting event of the day: MUTTON BUSTING.


Now, I bet you didn't know that mutton even needed to be busted. WELL, THEY DO. Here is a mutton. And here is the thing that does the busting. So they strap a helmet on to these things, put the mutton in a gate, sit the thing on the mutton and YEEEEEE-HAW! The thing gets trampled.


And then a guy with a mic runs out, immediately scoops her up, and yells, "SHE'S ALRIGHT! SHE'S ALRIGHT! [Even when she's not.] NO TEARS! NO TEARS!" (Obviously there's little concern for the mutton, since she's the one who gets to laugh her mutton ass off after spending a day trampling children.) MUTTON BUSTING: INDEPENDENCE DAY FOR SHEEP.

However, you may feel differently, sooo... POLL TIME! (And after the jump: the real reason I love to visit Molalla.)