Good Morning News!


News! Looks like it's all downhill from here. Wait, actually it's quite nice in Portland.
Mitt is only weird if you think believing that the Garden of Eden was in Missouri is weird. (Why no one has opened a gift shop next to the Stump of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil I don't know.)
T-minus 30 minutes until an ambitious go-kart track owner in Japan works those Koopa shells into his business scheme.
Oh, England. The whole country has gone straight to hell since they all voted Saxon. What that country really needs right now is a Doctor.
Anonymous journalism, why has thou come to decline. How has thee thought I will enrich myself monthly selling my pamphlet/sticker under a monicker. Cruel World.