Good Morning News!

Comments

1
News! Looks like it's all downhill from here. Wait, actually it's quite nice in Portland.
2
Mitt is only weird if you think believing that the Garden of Eden was in Missouri is weird. (Why no one has opened a gift shop next to the Stump of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil I don't know.)
3
T-minus 30 minutes until an ambitious go-kart track owner in Japan works those Koopa shells into his business scheme.
4
Oh, England. The whole country has gone straight to hell since they all voted Saxon. What that country really needs right now is a Doctor.
5
Anonymous journalism, why has thou come to decline. How has thee thought I will enrich myself monthly selling my pamphlet/sticker under a monicker. Cruel World.