JOKES—As comedy nights continue to infiltrate Portland's nightlife, curatorial chops and experience increasingly separate the hilarious from the just plain uncomfortable. Topping the list of names you can trust is Fly-Ass Jokes, a regular showcase at the Brody that this week features Nick Walker, Shane Torres, Ian Karmel, and others. AH
Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 8:30 pm, $8

BIKE—There'll be spandex, beer, and potential bloodshed. The 10th annual Portland Twilight Criterium bike race hits downtown blocks this afternoon with hefty cash prizes, food, and drink. AZ
SW Park & Couch, 4 pm (races 6:30 & 7:30 pm), FREE to watch, $25-35 to ride

SHHHHH!—Curated by artist Chris Johanson, the Quiet Music Festival of Portland proves that the most tranquil music can pack the mightiest punches. For two nights at Disjecta, silence reigns supreme, with low-volume sets from the likes of Kyp Malone (TV on the Radio), Tom Greenwood (Jackie-O Motherfucker), the Golden Bears, and plenty more. EAC
Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate, Fri & Sat, 8 pm, $7 a day, $12 for both days, all ages