After watching Rise of the Planet of the Apes yesterday, my girlfriend—who, it should be noted, never cared about monkeys at all beforehand, and has repeatedly and adamantly refused my valiant attempts to show her the original Planet of the Apes—proclaimed that she had quite enjoyed the film, but also that she felt there were, and I quote,

Not enough monkeys.

My response—that Rise of the Planet of the Apes has about the best monkey-to-human ratio one can ask for in contemporary cinema—was largely ignored, as she went on to note that "John Lithgow's character was useless and boring and old" and that "James Franco should only play stoners." Legitimate points, perhaps... but Blogtown, I put it to you: WHAT IS THE PERFECT MONKEY-TO-HUMAN RATIO IN FEATURE FILMS?