I'm going to hazard a guess that none of you are reading this from a coffee shop in Cologne, Germany.

(Does the Mercury have a devoted Teutonic readership? Erik won't let me see the metrics.)

That assumption in hand, I'm also going to assume none of you have spent the week at the annual Gamescom conference. Thus, I present a collection of the finest trailers from the event, including clips from Uncharted 3, Soulcalibur V, Street Fighter X Tekken, X-Men: Destiny, Battlefield 3, Modern Warfare 3, GoldenEye 007: Reloaded and that inexplicable inFamous 2 DLC where the main guy becomes a vampire for some reason.

That's footage of Dark Souls (the followup to my beloved Demon's Souls) at top, but you'll have to hit the jump for the rest.

Uncharted 3:

X-Men: Destiny:

GoldenEye 007: Reloaded:

Assassin's Creed Revelations:

Ace Combat Assault Horizon:

Uncharted: Golden Abyss:

Resistance 3:

inFamous 2: Festival Of Blood:

Sonic Generations:


Battlefield 3:

Mass Effect 3:

Borderlands 2:

Street Fighter X Tekken:

Lollipop Chainsaw:

Asura's Wrath:

Devil May Cry 5:

Soulcalibur V:

Batman: Arkham City:

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3:

So, boys and girls, any of the above get you excited? These trailers represent 90% of the games you'll be hearing about for the next year, so if not, I'd advise restricting your 'net usage to Cute Overload until 2013.

Actually, I'm advising that anyway. This McPuppersons is just totes adorbs.