GOOD LABOR DAY, BLOGTOWN! Workin' for a livin', livin' and workin'. I'm taking what they giving 'cause I'm working for a livin'. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Presidential contender Mitt Romney tells his supporters that the gap between traditional Republicans and the Tea Party isn't so wide after all—except for, you know, the missing teeth... and that they're even more stupid.

The Texas wildfire rages on, burning thousands of acres and destroying 300 homes.

Fears of a global financial collapse increase as European stocks plunged today (if they celebrated Labor Day, they wouldn't be worrying about this).

The trial of ousted Egyptian leader Hosni Mubarek continues—and yes! IT'S MORE INSANE THAN EVER.

The Taliban tries a new revenge tactic: They've kidnapped 30 boys from an opposing village.

Rebels surround one of Gadhafi's last Libyan strongholds—so where's he gonna move next? Eugene?

Note to the Oregonian: Though you may like to believe otherwise, Hall and Oates are not "middle-aged"—unless they're planning on living to be 120.

Four people are found after being missing for hours on the "Hillbilly Riviera" (the Sandy River).

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Don't put away that thong just yet—while today may be a temperate 87 degrees, the rest of the week is gonna be a HOTTIE!

And finally, a note from God to Gov. and presidential wannabe Rick Perry: