MSNBC delivers what might be the most fucked-up news to come out of Florida today:

A self-proclaimed vampire attacked an elderly wheelchair-bound man outside a Florida Hooters Restaurant just before midnight on Thursday, leaving him bloodied and in need of stitches, police said.

Milton Ellis, 69, had fallen asleep on the porch of the deserted Hooters in St. Petersburg when he woke up to find Josephine Rebecca Smith, 22, on top of him, he told police.

Smith told Ellis she was a vampire and then proceeded to bite him, tearing off chunks of his face and a part of his lip, St. Petersburg police spokesman Mike Puetz said, according to The St. Petersburg Times.