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BEST FEST—Want a festival experience without the lines, the fatigue, and the empty wallet? This! Fest crams nearly 20 bands and DJs (plus enough writers to fill an entire floor of Powell's) into the Woods and lets them go nuts for two straight days of unscripted and inebriated entertainment. Even better, it's all local and totally free. EAC
The Woods, 6637 SE Milwaukie, Fri 5 pm, Sat 3 pm, FREE, see thewoodsportland.com for complete lineup

OLIVE ME—Hey, look, it's the voice of Vanity Smurf from new hit movie The Smurfs! Oh, and also the British guy from The Daily Show. Get ready for some good limey wit: John Oliver makes America (and its encompassing Smurfdom) the butt of many jokes on his new stand-up tour. SM
Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 7:30 pm, $38.75, all ages