Dear I, Anonymous Commenters:
I did not write the I, Anonymous submission entitled "To the Crew Members of Portlandia." Here is an excerpt:
I'm sorry. I didn't realize that I was supposed to give a shit that you are filming a scene of your shitty, stupid show in front of Breakside Brewery (and taking up the entire public sidewalk). I hadn't planned for the fact that by simply walking home from Woodlawn Park bouncing my basketball (on the other side of the fucking street) that I was causing a disruption so raucous that several of you thought it necessary to invoke the international sign of "I'm Important And You're Not," i.e. the silent finger to the lips, like somehow I should care what the fuck you're doing.
Read the rest here, and while it's true I have a complicated relationship with Portlandia, I did not write this particular submission because a) I neither own nor know how to bounce a basketball, b) I respect the rights of filmmakers to ply their trade —even you Leverage, and c) I was playing badminton at the time, which is a superior sport to all others, especially basketball.