Mitt Romney is still sailing along, looking presidential. He got a couple great shots in on Rick Perry without seeming like a creep.

Rick Perry wants to smash Mitt Romney's sneering face in with his best pair of baby-otter-skin cowboy boots. He does not take direct criticism well, and he got nothing but direct criticism from everyone last night. By the end of the debate, he was a sullen four-year-old.

It's super-creepy when Michele Bachmann talks about "innocent little girls," especially when referring to "government injections." She's really banking on the anti-vaccination crowd sending her all the way to the White House.

Herman Cain says he's going to bring a sense of humor to the White House because "America's too uptight!" This proves that the Herman Cain campaign is an elaborate Comedy Central prank on the American people.

Because he was at a Teabagger rally disguised as a debate, Newt Gingrich did not rail against the media for a change. Instead, he said everything right and was vigorously applauded and then immediately forgotten, because nobody really takes Newt Gingrich seriously.

When Rick Santorum is not talking, he just stands there with his mouth partway open and his eyelids drooping down over his dead eyes. It's the face of a brain-damaged dog who only recognizes his own name.

Ron Paul tried to explain the nuances of what caused 9/11 to a crowd of rabid teabaggers last night, and he seemed surprised when they didn't respond with adulation. This is why Ron Paul will never win the presidency.

Jon Huntsman is a conservative Democrat with a conservative Republican's sense of humor.

The whole thing played out in front of an audience full of monsters who will take any opportunity to applaud death. You could learn more about the current state of the Republican Party last night by clipping out the candidates entirely and watching the audience responses. They have no manners, intelligence, or decency. They have no pride. They are craven and cowardly and dumb. There can't be enough of them in America to elect a president. Right?