GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Like a hammer on a clock, love began to rock. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

Unlike a certain United States I could name, Greece vows to do "whatever it takes" to diminish their debt.

Looking for someone to blame for the current U.S. budget stalemate? Fingers are starting to point at the idiots in the Tea Party. (They should mostly point at the idiots who listen to the idiots in the Tea Party.)

Moody's Investors Service opines that Obama's deficit reducing plan would actually do the country some good—but the GOP will never allow it.

A new survey says hillbilly candidate Rick Perry still leads the GOP pack, but that Mormon stick-in-the-ass Mitt Romney would mount a better challenge to Obama.

Speaking of polls, a new survey from Gallup reveals that a whopping 81 percent of Americans agree that our government is currently a bunch of fucking, do-nothing crybabies.

An Afghan employee of the US Embassy opens fire in the Afghanistan complex, killing a US citizen (possibly CIA).

A house explodes in North Seattle, possibly caused by a natural gas leak.

The New York Posts reports that funk legend Sly Stone is homeless and living out of a van.

In sports, it's VICTORY for our Rose City Rollers—read Derby Correspondent Courtney Ferguson's weekend long coverage of the Bridgetown Brawl here.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Rainy today and tomorrow, but Wednesday and Thursday are back to sweetness.

And finally, here's the only kind of salami you will eat.

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