Ambushed by Allies: Supposedly friendly Pakistani troops ambushed American troops in 2007.

Hey! The Government Didn't Shut Down! The bullshit stalemate has ended.

Wall Street: Still "Occupied"! The "relatively harmless" demonstrators are still setting up camp on Wall Street. Meanwhile, the cop who pepper sprayed protestors has a history of alleged civil rights violations.

GI Jane: Australia lets women soldiers serve in frontline combat. What's next, letting in the gays?!

WTF: FB PAC? Facebook jumps into political campaigns with a new money-givin' political action committee.

Unsafe at Any Speed: More young people are having unprotected sex—39 percent of American youths.

Helping Americans in a Time of Need: The cost of health insurance rose sharply this year.

Maybe She Needs More Coke? Sarah Palin threatens to sue shady tell-all Palin biographer Joe McGinniss over his book, The Rogue.

Coffee Wards off Depression: But you have to drink four cups a day... in which case, you are too manic to be depressed.

Zambia Elects King Cobra: Royalty bears the same name as crappy malt liquor!

Wampa Fur Sneakers: Yes.