"One drinks a right and proper amount; everyone else drinks either too much or not enough. One's own drinking preferences exhibit refinement and sophistication; everyone else's are suspect, as are everyone else's snobberies, recipes, rules, brands, and styles." -Daniel Handler, from his introduction to The Hour: A Cocktail Manifesto.

There are those among us that take drinking a little more seriously. For some, proper glassware and Kold Draft ice are essential to the experience. For others, nursing a bottle of Early Times in front of the TV is just fine. I'm not here to judge. But if you find yourself a little closer to the former camp, you might be interested in Portland Cocktail Week. Some of the best bartenders in the country are in town to mix, shake, sniff, taste, discuss and (likely) puke up finally crafted cocktails.

The festivities kick off tonight with a swanky party at Wilf's, but all through the weekend there will be celebrations, seminars, tastings, and drink specials. Most events take place at the Jupiter Hotel and Leftbank, but there are plenty of bar-centric happenings around town as well (a full list is available on the PCW website).

One the most bizarre (and intriguing) events pits—in some kind of boozy Kasparov-vs.-Deep-Thought fashion—human bartenders against robots. Some of Portland's best and brightest will be on hand to convince us that we shouldn't give their jobs to Siri. 42 Below Vodka, the event's sponsor, have offered me a couple pairs of tickets to giveaway (Normally $40 a pop!), so if you're interested send me an email with a good guy-walks-into-a-bar joke (or if you're boring, Portland Cocktail Week in the subject line) by 3pm tomorrow, and I'll choose two entries at random. After the jump, a Silver Jews song I'm reminded of.