I am just listening to your podcast ("Savage Lovecast" 261) while cooking dinner. I've been a fan of yours for a long time.

You had a call from a young woman who was abused by a family friend of roughly the same age when she was young and was a bit weirded out by having to face her abuser at a wedding. You suggested she go to the wedding and, if it was something she thought might be helpful to her, that she confront her "family friend." You suggested that the young man might apologize, and it might help her to hear that apology.

Between the ages of 10 and 14 I was abused and raped (anally as well, which has kind of fucked that up for me in later life) by a family friend who wasn't much older than myself—we had been raised almost as cousins/siblings. When I was 19 I mustered the courage to confront him. I was surprised at his reaction: the most abject remorse that I had (and still have) ever witnessed. He had been suffering from the guilt of what he had done to me much more than I could ever have imagined. In fact, now, at the age of 35, I think the repercussions of that abuse have been worse in his life and mind than in mine.

I have never told anyone about this nor sought therapy. I just grew up and moved on. Yeah, it's a bit rubbish sometimes that even though I try to enjoy anal from time to time I still can't quite get over that particular hurdle, but hey! Life is as long as it is short and it was only last year that I learned to love black olives so who knows?

Kids are much more resilient than we think. Thanks for everything that you do.

Listening in London