The Rosebuds explain the finer points of roller derby. Spotted on Frisky Sour's blog.

I cannot believe how much energy the junior roller derby girls of the Rose City Rollers' Rosebuds have. Like bumblebees, they are. They're also crazy, spazzy teenagers who can't sit still for like two seconds and enjoy dancing around to ABBA and shoving brownies in their girly faces—you know, normal girls, but with fast-ass skates. Saturday's double header of Rosebuds mini-bouts was fast paced and epically sold out. The Little Red Riveters, in their patriotic assembly-line garb, took on the zombie roller-shamblers (ramblers?) of the Undead Avengers. The Avengers took an immediate lead over the Rosies, and kept it for the duration of the 30-minute game. But dang if it wasn't a close bout in the final minutes. The Riveters' Toxic Haste picked away at the lead and nearly tied up the game in the last jam with the crowd screaming her on. But the Undead Avengers came out on top: 72-66.

Next up: The tie-dyed mystical battlers of the Rainbow Bites versus "The Imperial March"-themed Death Scar Derby Dolls (who have amazingly sharp boutfits). It was a back and forth between the rainbow-huggers and the keepers of the Death Scar—Bites in the lead, then Death, then Bites. But the Imperial minions couldn't outblock the Rainbow Bites, who Ewoked out a win. Bites 106, Death Scar 48.

I failed you on the co-ed bout that followed. It was a blend of Rose City Rollers gals and the dudes from Portland Men's Roller Derby, split up into Team Orange Crush and Team Blue Velvet. (Who do you think I was rooting for?) I could only stay for the first half, thanks to a early wake-up for a half-marathon I was running (er, trotting) in the ass-crack morning. But Blue was taking a bit of a thrubbing at halftime: Orange 79, Blue 29. I loved the co-ed action though. The play was super fast and aggressive, with a wide-variety of blocks and checks from the wide-shouldered men and the hip-tastic ladies. It was a lot of fun to watch. Final score: Orange 139, Blue 92.

I could still see Blue Velvet through my tears when I was walking to my car.