GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! Then we locked eyes... and I knew I was in there, and I was gonna tear your ass up (tear your ass up). LET'S GO TO PRESS.

In "Hillbilly News": Voters in Mississippi are facing a constitutional amendment that if passed would declare a fertilized egg as a legal person. The downside: That would make abortion and certain types of birth control the same as murder. The upside: I can count both the mommy and the egg as readers of Blogtown, thereby bumping up our web stats.

One of the 1% goes down! Rajat K. Gupta, a former director for Wall Street investment firm Goldman Sachs, surrendered to the FBI and is being charged with insider trading. (Can we also throw in Donald Trump for good measure?)

As Denis reported in the wee hours of the morning, police fired tear gas at hundreds of Occupy Oakland protesters. Meanwhile, across the country, police rousted the Occupy Atlanta camp, arresting 57. Things are getting ugly(er).

New numbers from the Congressional Budget Office repeat what you already know: Income for the top 1% have skyrocketed in the last 30 years.

Protesting the crackdown on demonstrators, thousands of women in Yemen this morning took off their veils, threw them in a pile, and set them on fire. That is a big deal.

President Obama pushes a new economic relief plan at those trying to pay off their student loans. (I should be able to pay mine off at around the same time I [won't] be collecting social security.)

In other Hillbilly News: Texas governor Rick Perry blames the GOP debates for his dismal performance in the GOP debates.

The U.S. declares the most adorable war yet on Afghanistan... with Twitter!

The investigation behind Amy Winehouse's death came to a close this morning, and was ruled "death by misadventure." A pleasant way of saying she drank herself to death.

There's more info on that story about the Portland cop arrested for busting into his estranged wife's house and pointing a gun at the boyfriend. Turns out the BF was a registered sex offender.

Will Lindsay Lohan pose for Playboy? Did anyone ever really have any doubt?

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Partly cloudy today and tomorrow with highs in the low to mid 50s, and a damp weekend ahead! (Be careful if you have a papier-m√Ęché costume.)

And finally, here's your dog's Halloween costume: ZOMBIE POODLE.