Okay, since I couldn't decide, here are two Ranty McRantersons. Ranty #1 trots out that old familiar trope about how it's his goddamn right to smoke (blah blah blah) and how he's gonna blow it back in our faces if we complain (blah blah blah).

To the old woman, young woman, middle aged man, mommy with kids in tow who gave me dirty looks or pointedly cough at me when I'm walking down the street with a cigarette. Fuck you.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to break an addiction? And don't tell me how it fucks with your asthma after you drove your goddamned SUV to park in a busy neighborhood so you can shop "local" and be seen at certain trendy bars. Guess who's hurting the environment and health of people more? Clue: NOT ME.

Wotta asshole! However if you disagree, you can always read the rest here and vote in our Anony-poll on exactly how full of shit this person is! And here is Ranty #2, whose Halloween was ruined for his 18-month-old toddler when this happened.

We walked up your path through your perfectly manicured lawn. Our son knocked on your door. Door opened. Our son said "ticktreeet, ticktreeet". I said "trick or treat". You replied, "OH, God, that's a baby! We don't serve babies at this house!" And then slammed the door on the three of us. TRICK or TREAT… You, are a fucking TRICK.

Well, in the trickster's defense, a) you shouldn't give candy to babies, and b) you clearly gave the trickster a choice of administering a "trick" or a "treat." Your argument does not cut legal muster, therefore I'm ruling for the defendant. This case is dismissed! (BANG!)

ANYWAY! Submit your own Ranty or read the rest of the Rantys in the rantiest rant room in Rantlandia, the I, Anonymous Blog!