GOOD MORNING, BLOGTOWN! I wanna, li-li-li-lick you from yo' head to yo' toes, And I wanna, move from the bed down to the down to the to the flo'. LET'S GO TO PRESS.

In case you missed it over the weekend, Portland Police Chief Mike Reese apologized on Saturday evening for attempting to blame the Occupy movement for a rape victim not getting the response she needed. (Note: For a person who may or may not be running for mayor, Reese already knows how to hide an apology in a non-news cycle, making sure the right people hear it, and the wrong people don't.)

Also over the weekend, Portland police decide to back off the protest marches to see what happens, and... SURPRISE! Nothing happens.

The idiots of Un-Occupy Portland march against Occupy Portland, because their message of "Stop annoying us!" is so much more productive than anything anyone else may be doing. You know what else is annoying? Having your home unjustly foreclosed upon. Put that in your caramel macchiato and sip it.

Pepper-spraying campus cop at U of C Davis is put on "administrative leave" until officials can figure out how to fire his ass without serious legal repercussions.

Some "super" committee! People cannot seem to figure out who ruined the latest deficit cutting plan. Let me give you a hint: IT WAS THE REPUBLICANS.

And surprise! Because of this the Dow tumbles another 300 points.

Violence continues to spiral unabated in Cairo, as protesters clash with security forces for the third day straight.

Parents who named their child "Adolf Hitler" has their newest baby taken away from them as well by social services. (No, it wasn't named, "I'll Kill You, Anne Frank!")

In Sports/Bullying news: The high school boy who first reported the sexual abuses of Penn State assistant coach Jerry Sandusky has been bullied so intensely he's had to leave school. Another reason I hate football and the people who love it.

In Sports/Hillbilly news: First Lady Michelle Obama is booed at a NASCAR race. (And here I was thinking hillbillies couldn't sink much lower.)

In Sports/Murder news: Seattle Mariner outfielder Greg Halman has been stabbed to death in Rotterdam, and his brother has been arrested on suspicion of murder.

Now here's what's going on in your neck of the woods: Balmy temps and heavy rains for the next three days. (INSERT HEAVY SIGHS HERE.)

And finally, a Thanksgiving holiday reminder from two carnivores and one (?) vegan.