Who couldn't use a little good old-fashioned roller derby smash time after all that feasting, amirite? Well, don't miss Shanksgiving out in Beaverton tomorrow, with the Portland Men's Roller Derby squaring man parts off against the Puget Sound Outcasts, out of NW Washington. I don't think they're promising any actually shankings, but you're guaranteed to see spills, thrills, and hard-skating boys sweating it out on the track. Which is enough to have me giving shanks for all that turkey I shoved in my thankhole (sorry, that was gross and nonsensical). Anyway, you should check out the derby action—it will amuse your eyeholes.

Indoor Goals Sports Arena
16340 NW Bethany Court, Beaverton
Saturday, November 26, 6:30 pm, $10-11.50