Portlands Shreddy Mercury takes a cock-knocking from Puget Sounds Ryrod.

Traveled to Beavertron, deep within the bowels of a roller hockey arena, for a Portland Men's Roller Derby game on Saturday. Jeez, the things I do to watch sweaty men skate. The Shanksgiving bout against the Puget Sound Outcasts out of Northwest Washington was a real knuckle biter. PDX had a death grip on the lead until the last seven minutes of the game, I'd even go so far as to say it was looking like a blowout before Puget Sound tied it up with 133 points. Portland answered by immediately pulling ahead once more, clenching the lead until the final seconds when Portland jammer Bleed 'Em & Reap was sent to the icebox, handing the Outcasts a Thanksgiving miracle. The dastardly men from Seattle/Tacoma/etc. used the golden opportunity to power jam their way to victory. Final Score: Puget Sound Outcasts 163, Portland Men's Roller Derby 155.

I gotta say, merby is definitely an interesting beast. The boys make the track look tiny in comparison to the ladies. Their packs look like a giant monster that takes up nearly half the track, a huge risk-taking monster. Which makes sense, since the men play on the same size track as the official women's track. But the proportions make it seem like the dudes are in a constant state of turning, instead of gaining speed on the straightaways. Their size also makes the hits look harder—there was a lot of wheels literally falling off during Saturday's game. This was apparently the final bout Portland needed to play in order to become an official league under the Men's Roller Derby Association.

Check the jump for a great gravity-defying shot from Sharkey.

The high-flying Puget Sound Outcasts.