Perhaps the best idea since Crisco wedged its way between two boring chocolate cookies, it's SKATE-A-ROKE! That's right—roller skating meets karaoke! This is probably the proudest event we've hosted, besides that one time we made two dogs wrestle under a blanket for a holiday ham. It's going to be a huge humdinger of a fundraiser for the Rose City Rollers, as all the funnest people in Portland gather to sing their best skate-jam karaoke tunes and the rest of the gang rolls around Oaks Park in four-wheeled bliss. The karaoke setup will be on the rink, for an element of danger and derring-do. Dress up! (I'm thinking sequins and tube socks!) Sing your best roller rink song! Let's stay clear of long earfuls like "Cortez the Killer"—no one want to skate to that dullery. How's about "Carwash"?! Get your tickets now so you're ready to go for the mad dash to the karaoke sign-up list.

Monday, January 9
Oak Park Roller Rink, 7805 SE Oaks Park Way
7-10 pm, all ages
Ticket options: $10 skating & karaoke (skate rentals included); $25 skating, karaoke, & T-shirt; $50 skating, karaoke, T-shirt, & pre-event private lesson with an RCR roller girl (they can teach you whatever you fancy: beginner skate, roller derby, jam skate)
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Here's your helpful fashion and songbook guide to the evening: