Breaking: Brandon Roy to Retire

Comments

1
Remember that one episode of Seinfeld where Kramer retired and moved into an old folk's home? That was some funny shit!
2
I WONDER WHAT HORRIBLE-NO-GOOD DRAFT PICK THEY'LL MAKE NEXT?!?
3
Now I guess our hope shifts completely to Greg Oden becoming a total badass when he comes back in January. Wish hard, Portland.
4
Not only is Oden NOT gonna come back a badass, but the chances he comes back as even a contributing ROLE PLAYER seems tiny to me. And it's not just health issues, either. This dude hasn't played any sort of significant minutes since he left Ohio State. I'm not so much worried about whether he can withstand a schedule that will put even more strain on his body in 66 games than a regular 82 game schedule would - I'm worried that the guy has spent more time getting paid to NOT play basketball than he's played highly-competitive basketball in his WHOLE LIFE. 3 years of High School ball, 1 year of college - and that's it. There are AAU ballers with more experience and savvy at this point.
5
You enjoy telling kids Santa isn't real, don't you, Fatboy? It's OK, I do, too.
6
Up top, bro.
7
CAN WE BRING BACK PRYZBILLA?
8
I believe that the return of the Vanilla Gorilla IS being discussed in the Portland front office - such as it is.

Then again, these are the same decisionmakers who didn't want to amnesty Brandon Roy because they thought he could compete for the starting job again. Apparently without asking Brandon if he had any knees.

I swear to God 2/3rds of the NBA makes decisions based on the season simulator in NBA 2k11.
9
So. Not being a normal sports fan. Is this what people call a "rebuilding year" for the Blazers?
10
He'll probably go to Indiana and become an All-Star. Happens a lot if you've been watching.
11
thanks for the memories B-Roy
12
Very sad, unbelievable news. But the Blazers still have a pretty great roster. And LAMARCUS ALDRIDGE, who decided to become great last year when faced with my constant mockery.
13
Hollow knees or not, he's still better than half the NBA guards. Hard to believe he's fully resigned to never, ever playing again.

Sorry about the OG break-in. I swear I saw Sean Marks skulking about N. Killi on my bike ride in today.....
14
fucking hate the Blazers at this point. Can we trade them for a football team?
15
also, @ezra, bummer about getting robbed. I'll head over and buy some of that bourbon this evening.
16
@TSW: The word on the twitters and internets is that Roy had two separate medical evaluations this week, and both doctors told him yesterday that he had to stop playing or else he most likely wouldn't be walking in a decade. For a guy under 30, with two young kids, and staring at the rest of his life, that was probably the deal breaker news.
17
Sucks about the robbery, Ezra :(
18
Ok, Fatboy, after seeing Greg Oden on the sidewalk downtown just now, I'll say that he's looking very, um, whatever the opposite of spry is.
19
You must have seen him walking either to, or from, his latest medical exam that just declared him unfit to play for the rest of the 2011-2012 season.
20
sigh