What Steve said the other day! Just as a reminder, Blogtown is still on a bit of a vacation, but don't stop taking your meds. (Unless they're not working and you have your doctor's permission.) We'll still be annoying you here almost as much as we always do.

Where are we all at? Here's a clue! At Kim Jong Il's special-invitation funeral, North Koreans were forced to stand in the snow and cold and pretend to weep while cameras trailed the procession for 25 miles.

The Obama Doctrine: "Other commanders in chief have presided over wars with far higher casualty counts. But no president has ever relied so extensively on the secret killing of individuals to advance the nation’s security goals."

Iran is itching to let everyone know who really controls the Persian Gulf (and also the world), threatening to shut down the Strait of Hormuz and choke off a sixth of Earth's crude oil supply.

At the trailer park where a 9-year-old girl was hacked up by a "trusted" babysitter, 15 neighbors (including the girl's grandfather) were registered sex offenders. You know who wasn't? The man suspected of killing the girl.

Sears still exists. For now.

A desperately fabulous Rick Perry wants to win the Iowa GOP presidential caucus so badly that he's changed his mind on abortion. It might be what you think.

In the denouement to the longest eviction of an Occupy camp ever, the last holdouts from Occupy Eugene have reportedly agreed to leave.

In the wake of massive protests, Russian dictator prime minister Vladimir Putin has begun photoshopping out political operatives.

AUNT VIV DOES NOT LIKE HER SISTER'S SON, WILL. SHE WANTS HIM TO BACK TO PHILADELPHIA.